glimpse of me

*Walang eepal*

Please smile through your eyes
I’ve never told any lies
I’ve never disguised

–

Such short time had passed
Wondering till when it’ll last
Missing you this fast…

–

Words are not enough
Being tense is really tough
Sorry for this crap…

–

What we had was rare
Farewell is too much to bear
I really do care…

–

Can you hear me?
Free me from my misery…
Accept my sorry.

–

A short span of time
Yet i’m paying for such crime
Now I lost my rhyme..

–

Strip me coz u could
Deny me, You thought i fooled
Did your mistrust ruled?

–

I’d rather not see
Than observe you avoiding me
This setting me free…

–

I know i’m nothing,
Never been you’re everything
But cease this hurting…

–

I learned my lesson
I still ask for your pardon
Coz here i am torned…

–

The way your eyes shine
Your smile that produces mind
When will we be fine?

–

The time might be short
A sort of wonder for both
Read between this note

–

I did dissapoint
I changed your mind and died
Waiting by thy side

–

I’m searching for words
I’m stretching my mind for you
Hope you’ll see me true

–

Pull of gravity
Some falling objects and me
Please remember thee

–

You’re slow to anger
It’s easy to make you smile
So, wipe off that frown

–

Will you forget me?
Throw everything away?
or please just let me stay?

–

Staring into space
I’m thinking of you
What’s there left to do?

–

I was wrong i know
But what we had please don’t throw
This is killing me slow

–

I have made a mess
Hoping this is just a test
Please don’t see me less

–

This is confusing
It’s hot and cold, new and old
What should it be called?

–

This is the last note
Hard to know what i had wrote
Just farewell of sort

*Parang joke lang..pero wala kasi akong mapost at di ako maka-compose ng blog na maayos* (all are done August-September 2009)

Questions and questions inside my head
Tossing and turning in my bed
Still remembering everything you said
All i want is for this love to play dead.

–

Skin to skin,
Your lips in mine,
memorizing each line…
Everything is just a dream and i am fine.

–

Finding my rhyme,
Looking for signs,
Searching for you,
Waiting in line,
When can everything be mine?

–

Verses and phrases
Jeans and laces
Sweat and skin
Me and you…

–

Nonsense letters and lights of coal
Different contours, Your face and my strokes
Yet everything i watch in revelled awe…

–

Wasting moments, wasting carbon
Waiting in line, waiting for time
What’s to see? What’s to do?
Nothing but to wait if all is true…

–

I want to make you smile
I wanna go the extra mile
Rest awhile then continue your file..

Who was Juan Paulo Mateo in my life?

He once became the reason of my being.
The reason i want to live on.
And yet never became a single reason in return.

He took my heart that faithful day,
an unexpected turn of fate.
I dont know how it happened.
I was just standing there,
in the small corner of the near-empty gymnasium
while i watch him in all his grace.

From then on, I was enchanted.
Yet i still watched from afar.
I saw myself as an unworthy being
to be close enough to his presence.

But then contentment wasn’t
a trait any human can have.
Day by day, i thought of a way
For me to be able to get close,
For me to be able to utter the words
"I’m captivated."
And for such a long time;
destiny denied me.

For no reason at all he was able
to make me feel emotions and desires
I never thought I can have for another person.

Without him knowing
I almost worshipped his existence,
viewed him as the epitome of perfectness.

And came the day of the 9th of January
the year of the 21st century
He gave me a chance, to talk to him,
to be near him.

I was this meek child back then,
innocent and scared.
Waiting at the train station;
couldn’t almost move.
Finally, he was there, walking towards me.
I stand in awe.

It was a chance I had thrown away.
I let the overwhelming bliss of him
standing there so near, petrify me.
I let the moment pass.
I didn’t let him see the real me.

That’s what i had believed.
The reason why he was soon gone;
sooner than that chance.
But was it really?
I may never know..

and all the "what could have been"
haunted my brain from then on..

This man caused me happiness to last
for almost a lifetime.
And heart aches in two folds of that.
All of this he’ve caused yet
clueless and all.

To him I owe the driving goal
that made me bring out
the best of what i am today.

I’ts him i have to thank for,
for the strength I’ve gained,
the goals I’ve reached,
the memories I cherish.

He became a big part of my life,
crossing paths with him,
wasnt anything I had anticipated.
How he touched my heart, my life, my soul
was nothing he can imagine even believe.

Yet i write this in my sicerest naked form,
I loved, learned and moved on..
ready to embrace again
the nothingness in his life where i was from…

–

BIRTHDAY NYA KASI E…ALALA KO LANG..:D
I WROTE THIS JANUARY 2007 PA…WOW.

fin.